Chit-chat with a Kit-Kat

Me: 'Fancy a chat?'

Myself: 'Why, yes! I would, indeed!'

I: 'Well, get your beer and Kit-Kats out! We have much to discuss about little.'

There are times in my life when my natural sentimentality and predisposition to nostalgia get in the way of me making quick and accurate decisions. I don't think that it keeps me in the wrong place for too long, but I do think that it makes things harder to deal with.

There are times when I know what I want to do, but I will not do it, for fear of hurting others. This makes making decisions much harder, but I will still choose what is best for me, as I am all that I have in the end.

I would much rather live my life around my loved ones, and have the freedom to go anywhere I want, at any time I choose. It's time I go home!

I have mixed feelings about it; I am really excited, happy, and relieved, but I am also very sad and upset about leaving Jodi behind with our puppy, Cujo. But I have no choice. I am not happy here; I'm restless and anxious, and I can't deal with the constant, high stress-level. I need to have my own space and freedom to move around. Otherwise, I will be miserable, making happiness impossible. I can't stay here forever, anyway. I will eventually have to move to Seattle, if I want to get a band up and running, that has half a chance to make it!

I know it will be hard to leave! The emotional potency of it will overwhelm me for a time, but I'm sure I'll settle down, given a few weeks at home.

I'm excited to see my friends, and I'm excited to see my family again. By the time I land in Ireland, eleven months will have passed. I came to America to own guns, take up shooting, start a band and tour America, and live on ten acres of wooded land, where I could have peace and quiet, but still have a city near by. None of this happened! Instead, I became the bill-payer. I lost my life-savings, and now I return to Ireland broke, but with more wisdom and clarity than I had before. I have changed much, and I am looking forward to developing my writing skill, and finishing my novel, so I can try to get published. It's time for me to become my own man.